dada is coming back

For a week or so, I'm asking myself, how am i feeling right now? Am i still full of anger towards him, full of disappointment towards him? or am i feeling very excited that he is coming back in two days time. I remember how i felt when 3rd jan 2009 was reaching. I was so looking forward towards it, how i can hug him tightly, tell him alot alot of things. I remember how tightly i held him while on the way his home, in his car.

25 july 2010 in 2 days time, while looking forward, yet, my hard feelings towards him is not fully off. It can't be settled just like that, because we really need to talk. But i realised that whenever a major conflict happen, we gave ourselves time to cool down, but there was always never a wrap up. Even if there was, i was always the one to initiate it, just like the one major quarrel we had before our last paper on 4 may.

what i had felt on my birthday was no small matter, i will explain to him why when he comes back. About the incident on his birthday, about hui ling's comment and his comment on fb, i just want to know what happened over at his side. I am willing to sit down and talk things through. But not now, i didnt want to tell him about my driving test, its on tuesday, for your info. If u still don't know by tuesday, that proves how often u read my blog, or how u don't even read. Give me a miracle. please.

We have not been talking for so long. I had wanted to say something, but i know it will make things worse. BUt i wanted to say that i made you spend more time with yr family and not less! yet in yr email u said bcoz of me, you spend less time w friends and family?? How can you possibly spend the equal time that you spent with yr frenz as compared to when yoiu are single and you are attached? if thats so, then you cant be in a relationship. YOu were the one who stayed in hall even on weekends when you are single. It is me who bought u with yr family and make you spend more time with them. It is me who influenced you to spend more time with them.
and now in yr blog you said when you needed support most, nobody gave you. Hey, that sld be me saying that, where was one when i needed most when you are in canada, japan?


We sld talk when you come back.
there are so many things not talked.