disappointed..with my dad

We no longer regards him as our dad, just a person in name. Today everything changed. Another debtor came out of nowhere, we were startled. I dont know howmany secrets he has we him. I pity mummy. Having a husband who does not pay every single house bill, a husband who does not bother about the house, a man who does not bring a single amount back home. He is a jerk, he is a failure.

WHat er are doing, is to help the family. We agreed to close down the company, starting everything from tomorrow. WHy cant he learn from his past failure, he is a bankrupcy!! I dont knoe how much further he wants to sink in it. I didnt know i had a broken family, i thought mine had no scars......

yetr whatever he did outside, we knew nuts. we knew nothing, that is how little communcation we have, mummy have with him. the whole night was about questioning and more questioning, not any criminal, but our very own dad. im always ashamed to tell da about all this, that he never contributes to the house and everyshit he did outside, becoz i didnt want him to get a bad image of dad, but now it doesnt matter any more, he is a jerk, no doubt.

I still remeber the card, but i guess it no longer mean anything to me, kee eng chin, has changed.

indirectly shooting

hai..so im the one whos sleeping round and lazing around. i DONT find that so..i would think of that as spending time with my family. why spend the whole lot of your life always finding things to do, enriching your lifes just becoz you want to enrich, doing things for the sake of doing..so fake.

just at that point of moment, i thought so. different pple think differently, and thats why compromise comes in.....

although i will still think whatever i thought will come more easy with most people

still, sleep is important to me,

=<=<

no more work!

so much things

I was really really happy satisfied filled with joy on my 21st celebration, so much thoughts, yet could not write now. I was amazed at how my dada could hold the party so well, get everybody's attention. I WAS SHOCKED AND SURPRISED=> he made my party come alive, perhaps bcoz of so many things that he did, i felt pressurised to do something for him too. But im always the busy one who has to work, therefore, i didnt have much time to do anything.

seriously, i dont want to talk abt this, but i really hate the loan sharks!!!!!!y turn our family's life upside down? i cldnot ctrl myself and spoke to that damn person. I sld not have done that. Im already endangering myself. They may just catch me anytime, and IM DONE FOR. im scared but yet i really want the police to help us to get him caught. That is y i cld not sit own and think what to do for dada. My house will be burnt in this one week, i firmly believe so, now is the time to sit down and think in a sensible way, how to protect ourselves yet deter them and capture them. if only i was in the police force. I always wanted to be part of them, but because of height reasons, i stopped dreaaming since secondary. let me and my family be safe and sound, thats all i want, for now. If anything happens to any of my family members, i won't leave them alone. but if anything happens to me, im afraid i will kind of hate my dad.