giving up..........

I always thought that there is a solution to everything. I always thought that effort will bring you rewards. Not to me now, anymore. I just feel like putting down everything and giving up. Just when i thought that I'm pretty settled down on some issues, more problems came along. It's not as though i didn't make the effort to sit down and think before i made any decision.

I had a great first half of the year, but second half of 2008, I find it so hard to pass each day. Everyday, it is a mental torture to me. Perhaps, some people say things too straightforward, and i'm not one who can take it that easily. i need someone to talk to, i find it so hard to even breathe properly now.

Kickfit was the only time when i sweat it out and don't think of the stressful things. I always wanted myself to be strong and not to cry so easily, but, to no avail. Im weak, Im very weak. I cant pull myself up now, at least at this moment. I cant even remember how many times i cried since i took up the position. I feel so sorry for myself, because i'm so useless. Give me a miracle.