happy 5 month anniversary!

yeah! today is 28 oct! 5 months anniversary of dada darling and dearest yan yan! haha..got a special gift fm a postwoman..so happy! tmorrow, i finally can go home, so today, i shall work hard. 2 more months, and dada will be back, really cant wait.

these 2 months may seem like nothing, but it was not easy. the 1st month was a sense of loss, the fact that i cant accept that my dearest is away from me, and with all the schwork stress i have, the 2nd month, was some external factors that made me struggle internally, but i came back, i really came back. Because home is still the best!
Hurray!

thermodynamics...

how do bonds form? what is the activation energy that is needed to overcome the barrier in order to form the bonds and form a more stable product?

我站的很稳!

I thought such things only happen in shows, but shows are in fact a mimick of real life things. 人生如戏，戏如人生...how true.

Girls are the most sensitive, we know what is going on always. I never believe in platonic relationships, they can never happen. This guy, JY.(same initials coincidentally) I knew him from my lab, and i never know he existed in CBC. He is a very intelligent guy, with a lot of deep thinking. All the tests so far, he scored above 95. For me, I was the opposite, working hard, but not very intelligent. He never failed to help me in my studies, although sometimes i can't catch it. He talked sense into me when I was feeling down, and i never denyed that i learnt alot.

He knew I have dada, he knew it. That was why i thought it is okie to study with him alone, and he can never harbour any thoughts. But i was wrong, as he was getting closer to me, until yesterday, he told me that i knew all along that he liked me. I was kind of shock. Why like a girl who is already attached? I told him, it is impossible. At that point, I suddenly felt that it was unfair to dada, and i should not be studying with him alone. You can say, that I'm making use of him in my studies, but I'm not. For he is just a normal friend.

But yesterday, more truth unfold. He already has a girlfriend. In CBC too. I can't believe thatI am actually the root of the cause of them quarelling. I felt as if i was the bad girl, but in fact i am so innocently included in their picture. He told me about his broken family and everything, and that he could give up a good friend for love. Why? This is not sensical at all!! I don't make sense out of it, i pity his girlfriend. It is so unfair to her. If every guy were like him, wouldnt all the girls feel so insecure? Girls always feel insecure. I gradually told him more things too, and we talked til 3am.

I told my mum, she was worried. But i confidently and firmly told her, please believe in me, I have only dada, and she will only have dada as her son in law! That was why i could not sleep as i wanted to tell dada all the things that happened. Dada, i know you are reading this now. I just want to tell you, these are all the obstacles that we faced, but we managed to jump over them so easily, it was simply because of two things, love and trust. It is because you trusted and love me, that was why what happened yesterday was not a trigger to spoil our relationship. Nobody can ever replace you, for i really love you.

Blood donation

HAI..I waited for 2 and a half hours because i wanted to donate blood. In the end, they say my vein is too small, and I cant donate. I really wanted very much to donate, really. I donated just once in 2006, that time they also MIAN QIANG find my vein, because it's too small. I don't know why I will make an attempt to go and donate this year. Nobody to go with me, just there by myself. Because....I wanted to do something that dada always do, he will definitely go and donate if he is here, and so I went, imagining him going with me. In the end, my mission was not accomplished, i felt so disappointed, because I wanted to show him...that i donated ......

I slept at 1am yesterday, because dada therapy says so! JJ's album gonna be out soon! I really like to listen to his songs. The last album autograph session, my darling was there! That is also the first time mummy saw him, i missed that time......

the hard way

Everybody learns,but in different ways. I can only say, i always have to learn things the hard way, but if the end result is,i learnt it ultimately, then thats fine. But sometimes, i cant even learn it the hard way...i can't even master it...........i want to get out of my vicious circle!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girl

There was this girl, born out in a busy year, a lucky year. Her family was considered well to do. Her dad earned tens of thousands dollars each month, from his electrical business. His business was even better when she was borned, which explained why she was getting a slight more attention than her siblings. Her life was good, but she never get to go out to faraway countries, even though her family could well afford that, reason being her dad was too busy doing his work to even spend much time with the family. It was a pity, a real pity. But it was too late. Ten years of great life, and she was no longer from a well-to-do family. Her dad failed in his business, not because he did not know how to manage, but because of friends who cheated him. He was declared bankrupt, and the whole family went into depression. Her dad had even tried to end the life of his whole family, which the girl remembered vividly. Luckily, he did not succeed. The family tried to go on no matter how hard life was. The girl had witnessed everything that could happen, loansharks coming up to make a mess.....she never really told her financial status to her friends and loved one, for she saw no point of doing so. Another ten years passed, although she is still as poor, she knew she had a happy family.
However, there was still this difference between her and her loved one. He has a financially stable family. Nonetheless, she is confident that this was just a microscopic difference, because, money can't buy family, cant buy love. She is happy for who she was, who she is now.

happy for him

I'm truely happy for my brother, for it is yet another stage of his relationship with Cindy. they just had their one yr anniversary. They almost broke up, but now they are even stronger. There isnt any reason why couples must break up, for that's what i think. Didn't you tried all means to get hold of her? How can it be that you can let it go so easily? Practically every couple who broke up was due to another person, directly, or indirectly.

I can only say, those couples don't know true love. In the past, i would not say i know, but i know it very well since 28 May 2008. True love is: Even when you are alone with a person of the opposite sex, all you think of is yr other half, and you wished so much, that person washim/her.

And you will miss that person every single day, whether he is just beside you, or on the other side of the earth. You know you are really stressed out, but you hanged on there, for you know, you have him to support you always...

so much to say

I have somany things up here in my mind, therefore i ended up here. I was supposed to do yet another lab report, but my mind just cant keep still. Dada's blog lets me think, think and think. I like his cinderella story, with love, you would have magic within. I saw the reference, and again, i thought of so many things. To be true, I know alot of things from dada, alot of his inner thinking, feelings. Ironically, not much through he himself, but rather, through his old blog. I sometimes wished that i had known every single detail of his past, but sometimes, there will still be things which i won't know totally. I want him to tell me more, i want more of a heart to heart talk, just like the butterfly park talk. Sometimes, i think too much.

There was this show, where a guy and a girl were getting married. The guy's ex-girlfriend then met with an accident, she was half paralysed. He became very distraught, but his wife-to-be told him to go and see her if he was worried. off he went, and he became emotional, and told his ex that he cared alot about her all along. they hugged each other.....the guys parents then reminded him that he is getting married. and luckily, he made sense out of himself.

Guys are guys, they tend not to forget. That's the bad thing about having a past. Deep down in the heart, perhaps, there is still a tiny tiny little her, which explains why an accident can trigger his heart. Girls would know that his wife-to-be wished he had not went. (Girls say this and mean that) I have alot of past, but they are not memorable, so in my tiny tiny heart deep down, i can swear for sure that there isn't any. For one has totally filled up my heart now......

NUMBED

I suddenly had the thinking that my poor results for the mid terms were so expected that instead of feeling extremely sad, i just told myself to carry on. its all over, i can only look on and tell myself..life still goes on.
Just one happy thing, i got the bursary from NTU! quite a huge amount too,(which indirectly states my financial status) and to celebrate, i treated mum n sis to movie and dinner. We watched connected on wednesday after my dental visit. Pretty decent but unrealistic plot.
Because of my tests, i did not even get to talk to dada for this week, albeit talking to dada for a mere 10 minutes on thurs morning. I totally cant stand not talking to him for a week, yet i cant help it, im in a dilemma! And all i could do, is to think of him and behave like a cry baby. i hate to let dada see me cry, i don't like to appear weak in front of him, although thats the case always. Let this year pass quickly, and i just want a decent GPA of 3.5 and I'm happy enough. Do grant me that, i'm working hard.

stressed...again

I thought i was feeling better, but now the stress is coming, yet again. Exams are just a month away, and there are 4 more tests before the exams are here. In a way, it is good, but it also adds on the stress. Especially when i'm not doing well for my past 3 tests. Hexis is hanging there too, and i received alot of rejection letters from the foundations.
I really don't feel like touching hexis for the time being, I don't come to university to be involved in all these and make my grades suffer. I really don't understand why i'm doing this to myself. But all I can say is that, "everything happenes for a purpose" and will eventually lead to a good ending. As what dada told me "everything will turn out fine eventually", thats for him, and its for me too. How I wish dada is my my side physically now. He always cheers me up. Been skyping with him, for the max of 3 times last week! But exams are coming, and i'm afraid I can't afford this kind of time anymore, yet I want to talk to dada, its a dilemma. I hate to make decisions. I never like to. . I really miss you.

of substance...

Friends around me, are of so much substance, aspiring journalists..news presenters..teachers...what about me? what do i want?