relieved..

IM actually very happy today, because Hong Leong Foundation decided to give us a grant. I don't know how much it is, but it can really relieve us of some stress, even if its a few hundred, for i foresee that tickets sales will be quite bad.

I was doing my work at north spine, when my mind drifted off to think about hexis. I was worried about hexis tickets sales. It always happens in class, though i will try to get my mind back to lesson as soon as possible.In a while, my phone rang! I was so shocked and surprised that HL is providing us with a sponsorship. We are like only one month away from the productions, and yet there is still a sponsorship for us!

I just could not describe my feelings, how happy and excited i was. But i don;t think anybody can understand how i felt, how relieved i was. perhaps, except for elaine. I felt as though i hasnt had this kind of happy and excited feeling for such a long time. It was really a miracle, yes, to me it is. The first miracle i had in life, was during my sec 2 cross country, when i fainted. I crossed the line unknowingly and got no.10, which i did not expect at all! This is the second i ever had.

The first instinct was to message elaine! i know how happy she will be too, she went through all these with me, she knows it the best. then i spread the news to ter and yx and ronnie, dada.

lets hope it will be a decent amount, but i can't be too happy for sure, for ticket sales is really bad..i hopoe another miracle comes true.

Test next monday, trying my very best to study for it these few days. This wkend will be so busy i forsee i wont have time to study well. Its 40 percent, i cant let it go. its 3am now! all bcoz of the make-up thing just now, but well, as producer, i have to be down to oversee.

Put me through this test, once again, for i no longer have anyone to help me in my studies, i lost my helpful tutor, my friendship. im totally ignored

In this world, we can't just have the best of both worlds, i realise..tired

looking forward, looking backward

So much things have passed in just a blink of eye, my long awaited CNY is over. I missed the wkends prior to CNY eve so much, because i can go shopping with kor and fang using a car!

Missed the cny visit to dada's house, miss the midnite movie, the visit to loyang tua pek kong.....

This yr is the secong time that i am not at home for the bai tian kong during chu jiu..wanted so much to be back at home, its something that i always look forward to since young, i don't know why, perhaps, its because all of us are together, or perhaps, its just fun to stay up late to fold the incense paper, to see the burning of sugarcane..i just like the feeling.

I haven really had time to sleep well, even during the cny period, its worse. I long for a good sleep so much, a sleep when i know that i don;t have to do anything the next day, when i don;t have to care about whether my alarm clock is on or not.

I suddenly felt bored while studying, and i just took my hp out. No, this time i wasnt looking back at all my messages, or rather, i was listening to all my recorded songs in my hp, songs which i sang myself and recorded them along the way. I missed one particular song so much, wu jia hui song. i almost forgoted that this singaporean singer existed. until i hear his song again. This was the may period song, though i cant remember which show was it. then i started to read my diary again, it was a kind of occassional routine i always do...look back. And thought of all the happy..sad things. My last few entries was so..hmmx..i never want it to happen again.

I always believe that songs leave a particular deep impression during your certain periods in life. It has always been for me. Yang cong, was representative of my exam period in april 08. the english songs during my cafe period, wu jiahui song..alot alot.
This is the boring period again, and the phrase starts to come again: everything will turn out fine in the end. Its just about a month to the end, and i can't wait. I need a breather..really..

i fear of going back to hall at night, because once im back, i cant have the chance to touch my work, and my night is gone just like that..

night cycling, will it be as fun this year? i suddenly missed RF so much, the 1st year we had in hall.i love the mahjong session at dada house. Perhaps some things just cannot change, and we can't just accept a new friendship just like that, its like that.

JIAYOU YAN YAN!

CHINESE NEW YEAR!

As usual, i will always visit some food blogs before i sleep and there it is, i chanced upon photographs of the chinatown now! i really want to immerse in that period-- CNY period. I like to anticipate, at the very least, thinking of cny cheers me up!

I want to go chinatown, buy nian huo, listen to cny songs, go out with family..etc etc.

I cant even bake for my friends and families this yr, too busy.

HOHO, nxt yr ba! i want to do all the things i like, fm this may! i don't want to be tied down by hall anymore!

GONG XI FA CAI! haha

so cold

sms so cold, tears welled up, rolled down.

a protest? an expression of unhappiness?

no exclamations marks....

totally impacted by your mood, because i care

. ...... .... .... ....

Fruitful one week/ thoughts

Last week was the start of the week. It was still pretty honeymoon period bcoz there wasnt any labs, tutorials. And for the first time, i went to look see how the army camp is like. Ironically, it wasnt my kor's one. I've never even been to his! It was dada's bro camp. I even got to meet his relatives, at the temple. All these little things do make an impact on me. It gave me importance, hence, i never fail to gather everyone for my relatives' gathering, siblings birthday etc etc, because dada is part of us. I sometimes hestitate to stay over at his house, for fear how his parents will think, afterall, im a girl and should not always be staying over, yet come to think of it, perhaps nobody thought so and its just me who thought so much...

Was really enjoying every moment of the days last week. Jogging, turtle soup...I always like to think back about all the good things.

Feel kind of, how should i go about this semester? With 14 AUs, its considered very slack. Yet, each module requires more effort than before. Even lab has exams. With hexis to add on til March, cockroach asked me what is my aim for this sem? My reply was, to maintain or go higher. Sometimes, i don;t know how i should go along adjusting my circle of friends. I still have the impression that da don;t like me to have any communication w cockroach. But yet i don;t want da to have other thinking. I really don;t like to see disappointed, sad, sick, angry expressions on my loved ones. This lunch was also after much thought before i agreed. And to tell da that i had lunch w him, is because i respect da.

Hai, a lunch totally spoiled my mood, and i didnt even eat. Perhaps i think too much what dada will think. I think because i tend to put others in my shoes and therefore think how will i think/feel and apply those thinking on other people, which isnt the case. Even for this post, it took me so long to gather my thoughts.......


okie, i should eat now, felt better after writing down! =>

sucky subjects..post alcohol

my timetable is so uncertain, everything is so uncertain, i really hate that kind of feeling. Why is the school system like that, forcing us to take things we don't like.

For the past few days, i was really feeling very unwell, probably due to the alcohol, could not eat well, sleep well, probably also because of school, hall, etc etc.

I suddenly miss year one so so much, my hall life in year one. everyone is here together. I can't remember how long it was since we all walk together to can 14 to eat the very nice jap food. Now is just can 2 and can 2.How boring.

After 3 Jan, the most looked forward date will be 8 march. I can't wait to go overseas again, the place where i can let down everything, but i really hope, its full attendence.

I want to go JJ concert, Im sure i will be very happy then, really happy.

Come to think of it, i haven gone on a proper date since dada went to Canada, haha, but time does not permit it, Never mind, good things don't come easy ma, i will wait!!!

bear bear!/2009

i finally received my bear today! 1 jan..it took one year to reach!

What a countdown we had..fun..not fun..

I always wondered how it is like to be unconscious /semi-unconscious..i first tried it when i fainted during my cross country in secondary 3. I practically lost consciousness and for the last quarter of the route, i didnt know what i was doing. The effect of fainting was nothing, for i don't know how i fainted in the first place. The after effect was the worse part, my head was spinning and my head felt like a thousand tonnes..it was really bad.I thought that i was gone.

Yesterday, i felt it another time. But this time, it was because i was drunk, really drunk. As usual, i always wondered how it was like to be drunk.I wanted to try, i really wanted to know. Yesterday, because it was at my house, i didnt care how much i could drink.We just played and drank. I can't remember what i said. I was so wobbly, and the moment i opened my eyes, everybody else's face was distorted and the whole world was spinning. Now i know why people do things they don't do when they are drunk.You really have ni strength at all. BUt luckily, elaine helped me to clean up, and all the rest helped too. Nobody was as drunk as me. Yes, that was so unglam.
I wouldn't say that i really regret drinking so much, because i finally knew what it is like to be drunk. But one thing for sure is that, this will be the first and the last timethat i am getting so drunk. i don;t like alcohol anyway, it was for the fun of it. My mum warned me too..haha. I don't like people who drink and smoke, so why should i?

and so, i ended my 2008..or rather..i started 2009, with such an impact. I shall impact 2009 then! haha...airport..here i come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!